i shouldnt be awake...
but it seems that inspiration has inched its way into my restless fingers

as the minutes of this sordid life inch across my breath
i wonder if my soul will ever rest
ever searching, filling empty hands with large ziplock bags of air
clear, large, worthless...

and what do i have to look forward to after?

night

havent been here in a while...

im tired...so heres a lullaloser

shut your eyes and lose your breath
one last mission, one last test
sing your sleepy self to bed
forget the world, the life youve bled
but dont lose hope
as your eyelids meet
tonights dreams
dance on the street
a year from now,
youll fly on newly grown wings
and the crisp night air, your poetry sings

losing...

im losing
this race against my own heart
this competition of
deception
rejection
correction
and misconception
and im losing...

but you all knew
i couldnt win
before this even started
i was destined for doom
the only outcome:
lose

i wanted to believe
that i was okay
that i had put him away
on a dusty shelf
i'd never have to clean
but that didn't mean, i guess
that i'd never have to look

dont feel sorry
because i'll be fine
after the hands of time
spin their twisted way around
around my heart and my mind,
and these shaking hands
soon my broken feet will be able to stand
on the naked, honest
rock-solid ground
of you
but even then...
i lose

good morning, subject e

"Good morning, Subject E."
Eyes blink back sleep,
blink back dried tears on these swollen eyelids
tears?
why tears?
these gaping windows to this empty soul haven't shed emotional rain
in years...
why tears?

"Subject E appears to be still under the influence of the tranquilizer."
And it's awfully white here.
bright, blinding, ugly, white
these eyes shut out the glare
still feel the unpresent stare of that voice with no face, no heart
and no place, in this white empty room

"Subject E seems to be adapting to it's surroundings, moving and understanding it's location."
These hands feel the floor, feel the walls, and search for the door
the way out of this hostile ground
but these hands, young and clean have found nothing
but these frightfully, endless walls

"Today, Subject E exhibited great potential upon the learning of it's first cognitive task."
Today, from the heavens, came down demons
more of these endless, tireless, senseless walls
and the voice with no facxe grins at my confusion
and the voice with no heart taunts my movements
"Subject E must travel through the maze in search of food.  Time starts now."

i wrote both on napkins at work on break, for lack of an appetite, and lack of anything better to do...i'll probably finish the second one sooner or later.

wheels

the wheels turn
and the lights burn
and the music clears this mind
the song plays slow
and heart break grows
in the shadows of the night

sitting just a second a way
an inch away from a kiss
but a minute too far
and a mile away
from this nightmare of a wish

the wheels roll
and the lights glow
and the music soothes these ears
the song plays out
and this heart doubts
confirming greater fears

listening, bored to a broken song
pretending not to feel
but a glimmer of hope
and a hint of a smile
beg this heart to heal

the wheels stop
and the lights drop
and the music comes to a halt
the song ends now
and this heart's found
that loss is all it's fault

breathing in the cold night air
gasping for love's wind
a fleeting glance
and lost romance
bring the night to it's end